


what you feel, but can't articulate out loud

by ReginaCordium



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Critical Role Relationship Week, Gen, Kayleth is Stressed and Allura is Cool Older Sister who has All the Answers, Ladies supporting ladies, heart to heart convos, vaguely mentioned Kimallura and Vaxleth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 08:55:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9598565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReginaCordium/pseuds/ReginaCordium
Summary: Pike and Grog and Kaylie (and holy shit, Vex actually convinced Kaylie to come how does Vex do these things she’s so fucking cool) brought him back. He’s kind of comatose, which is scary, but they can deal with that! Comatose still means alive.Keyleth takes a deep breath and is surprised to hear it shake.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! I'm so excited for this week, I love exploring different relationships and dynamics.
> 
> This is my first time writing Keyleth (my anxious daughter) and Allura (my beautiful mother) so their characterizations are still a little...off. Not beta'd and written in a couple of hours, so all mistakes are my own. Title from Sleepsong by Bastille

Keyleth finds herself waking with the sun, despite not going to bed until at least midnight the previous night. She turns onto her side to watch the sky bleed pink and blue; for a place as cold as Whitestone, it sure has some beautiful sunrises. Keyleth is very, very glad she is alive to see another sunrise.

She is glad that _Scanlan_ is alive to see another sunrise.

Holy shit, Scanlan actually made it. He was gone and she thought he was gone _forever_ , he was so _cold_ , but he’s fine. She saw his chest move herself. Pike and Grog and Kaylie (and holy shit, Vex actually convinced Kaylie to come how does Vex _do_ these things she’s so fucking _cool_ ) brought him back. He’s kind of comatose, which is scary, but they can deal with that! Comatose still means alive.

Keyleth takes a deep breath and is surprised to hear it shake. She rolls over to her back and forces herself to take more. Scanlan is fine. Percy is fine. They’re all fine, they’re all alive, and Raishan and all the other fucking dragons are _dead_. That’s something to celebrate. They all deserve to get shitfaced, in her opinion. They have a wine cellar here, don’t they?

Her rumbling stomach pulls Keyleth from thinking too much longer on her wine-filled future.

Pulling on some warmer clothes and her shoes, Keyleth makes her way to the kitchen. The castle is silent, everyone likely still sleeping or already out to take care of business. There were many loose ends Vox Machina had to tie up as well, so maybe it is best she eat early.

When she gets to the dining area, Keyleth is surprised to see somebody else there.

“Allura!” she gasps, eyes wide. Allura looks away from one of the windows letting in the now orange morning light, a steaming mug in her hands.

“Good morning, Keyleth,” Allura answers, voice still a little sleep-rough. She pats the seat next to her. “Care to join me?”

Keyleth takes the offered seat and starts picking at the small offering of fruit and toast in front of her.

“Sleep well?” Allura asks, taking a sip of her drink. Keyleth wonders briefly if there is anybody to ask for a cup of coffee. She’d do almost anything for a cup of coffee right now.

“As well as I could,” Keyleth admits. “There was just so much that happened yesterday I just…” She sighs heavily, and Allura pats her shoulder.

“Completely understandable.” This close, Keyleth can see the circles under Allura’s eyes, and she wonders if the other woman slept at all last night.

“How’d you sleep?” Keyleth asks gently. “How’s Kima?”

“Sleeping like the dead, as always,” Allura sighs, causing Keyleth to laugh. “I slept for a few hours, but once I woke up there was no hope of going back to sleep. Yesterday was...tough for us both. We were used to harrowing experiences from our own adventuring days, but yesterday was especially rough.”

Keyleth bites her lip before rushing out, “Okay, so, like, I actually had a question about that? You totally don’t have to answer if it’s too, like, personal or whatever. I totally understand -”

Allura laughs and places her hand back on Keyleth’s shoulder. “It’s alright, Keyleth. You can ask me anything.”

“How do you do it?” Keyleth blurts. “Uh, that’s not what I meant to say. I mean, it is, but that’s not how I wanted to say it. Uh. What I mean was how can you handle being with somebody like that knowing either of you could die at any moment?”

Allura is quiet long enough for Keyleth to get self-conscious. “Oh, gods, sorry, I didn’t mean to assume anything about you and Kima! I just… you two are always so in sync and you’re always looking out for each other so I just _thought_ …”

Allura smiles, and it’s warm enough to relax Keyleth. “You’re not wrong. Kima and I… we’ve been together for awhile, though we are often apart. As for adventuring, it is unfortunately something you must get used to. There will always be something scarier, something more dangerous to encounter. I feel we are similar in our tendencies towards people who run into this danger head-first.” Allura raises her brows, and Keyleth’s laughter rings loudly in the empty hall. “So the only course of action is to get stronger yourself, so you can protect them when needed.”

Allura offers a small, sort of sad smile. “You learn to appreciate the little moments, and learn how to truly be in them. Learn how to listen to your heart and your wants.”

Keyleth’s voice is very small when she says, “I’m not very good at listening to what I want. I get caught up in what can go wrong and how others could get hurt.”

“I know,” Allura says, moving her hand to wrap her arm around Keyleth’s shoulders. “But you’re still young, dear Keyleth. You have time to learn.”

Distant footsteps echo in the hall, signaling the arrival of some of the others.

“I hope I’m as cool as you someday,” Keyleth sighs.

Allura’s laugh is bright. “And I hope I’m as wise as you someday.”

**Author's Note:**

> As always, I can be found on [tumblr](regina-cordium.tumblr.com) :D


End file.
